Gratitude

Gratitude 🙏🏽 for everything goes a long way.

I have been making a concerted effort to positively co-parent and work collaboratively with my kid’s father and ever since I made this decision, magical things have been happening in our lives:

1) Gavin is initiating tough conversations with me and Gigi. He is very intelligent, not a fan of talking incessantly like his mom and sister, but when it’s time for him to express himself, he does so naturally, confidently, and freely shares what is on his mind.

2) Gigi is doing things outside of her comfort zone. Yesterday she initiated procuring an eye exam to get new glasses and get her computer fixed. We both crashed out, multiple times, and she made me dinner even if she was super tired. What she made for me was so delicious, I took pics to remind myself I want to recreate it.

3) Gerald willingly helps us do things around our new house I do not understand nor am I interested in understanding because of his deep love for his children. Gavin just calls him and things get done. Like our air conditioning works now, our washing machine doesn’t leak anymore and works too, and he even lets me use half of his driveway so the Benz has a home 🏡 because I don’t have the parking skills to house two vehicles in my garage.

God is good, always 🙏🏽. This 1st 🥇 of the month I want to focus on gratitude. For all the small things, big things, and everything in between 💙

Liars never 👎 prosper

To make a long story short, the security guard ending up being cool. Good thing I cooled off and treated him with respect.

The scared old man who made false allegations and told the security guard my dog “attacked” him was clearly lying and I straight up called him a liar to his face and punked his ass. I’m sure he ate his balls when I did that.

He promptly closed his garage on me as I flipped him off multiple times in front of the police, after they reviewed video footage of his lying ass. I told him he needs to fix his brain 🧠 because his weak, fearful mind, attacked his ass and not my dog.

Lesson here. Watch out for people like me, who try 🙏🏽 our best to do right, mind our own business, but when it is time, with God’s hand, is blessed with a lion’s strength 🦁 to call out LIARS every single time, to their face. I’ve done this countless of times in my life and they all have the same reaction: recoil in shame and anger for being caught.

Best to keep on the straight and narrow path and pray 🙏🏽 for guidance and strength because God will provide.

Adios m/f 🖕

Always Be Ready 🙏🏽

Praying 🙏🏽 hands are the strongest 💪.

Allow people to show you who they really are and you get to choose ✅ what you’re gonna do with that information. Choose wisely.

Watch and listen more.

Talk less.

When it’s time to pull the trigger of “Action,” everyone will know you did not come to “Play” 🏈.

🦁

🧐

🤗

👋

Show them you’re a beast. Smart 🧐, strong 💪, self controlled 🌟and most of all God 🙏🏽 fearing.

Praying that you always stay strong, aware, happy, and protected 👼

Create your own luck 🍀 with your left hand.

And watch infinite ♾️ possibilities open up on your right hand.

Yes, we all have experienced brokenness, multiple betrayals, addictions, personal tragedies, multiple heart breaks, grief, sorrow, lethargy, oppression, learning challenges, but I’m here to say, be better and kinder to yourself in small ways. A little everyday, goes a long way. Do it for yourself. If you love another more than yourself then that’s your idol - your personal deity.

Putting first things first matters:

(1) God

(2) Self

(3) Family

(4) Work

(5) Fun

(6) Friends

(7) Extracurricular

It’s Monday. Set the tone energetically. Also, we’re only 7 days away from a new month. Don’t bring in August’s 💩 into September.

Fall will be romantic but not be long enough 🍂 then the cold Winter ❄️ will slap us around and Mother Nature will show up and show who’s Boss. Don’t get caught out in the cold 🥶

Buck up 🐎 buttercups 💚

This new song to me 🎧 popped up while writing this post so maybe 🤔 Jin inspired this post? lol 🤷🏻‍♀️Have a good rest of this month❣️

🎧: Audio here

New roots 🌱

I can feel my new roots growing in this new life I am building for me and my bloodline.

Everyone who I intentionally cut off I am happy to and I will never disrespect them in public but they better not test my a$$ and leave me the F/ alone FOREVER ♾️.

They absolutely know who they are because I have emails and text messages to put them on blast if they even “think” of pulling the same shit they did with my kids when they were cluster f/ing each other and displaced my children for 2 years.

This post is a warning ⚠️ for ALL OF them. Watch out m/f’ rs, you will never 👎 have my trust again and you will, and forever ♾️, be on my personal shit 💩 list.

God is watching your ass. Not just me. Stay outta my way and I will do the same.

🎧: 🖕Audio

Mark these words

If Anger is not from God, I do not want this, or anyone else’s for that matter.

What’s important is to:

OBSERVE how someone behaves out of

Anger,

+

Fear,

+

Greed

( because it absolutely reveals )

=

WHO THEY ARE AT THEIR CORE

Because Anger, as corrosive as it is, is an absolute truth serum 🙏🏽

Watch them 👀

Avoid them 🛑

Cut them the f/ off your life 💔

And walk away forever🚶🏾‍♀️

They are dead to me ☠️

Protect your peace 🕊️like your life depends on it because it does 🎯

How I fight

I first pray about my strategy, ask for forgiveness for my own transgressions that are known/unknown by me, and then I do the following:

1) Stand my ground

2) Make the ground I stand on as my truth

3) Choose the path that leads to the most peaceful outcome

4) Disengage with sincerity, humility, and understanding

5) Listen with my whole being

6) Strategize with love, not sales, and let God take charge

7) Go back to #1

Me lako kung gana karela eganagana

Ali ku buri ing pamilia ku lupa la reng pera pera pera sikan sikan sikan.

Ing kataparan ku keng Dios ku pu at tatang ku pu alana keni pero ing lugud at protección nah neng Dios y Papa ku para kaku atchu ya parin 🙏🏽

Tratatu dakung ipas eku buri ita pu. Kabolgan ing malyari ngeni at sobrang matako la ngan keng sikan at pera. Makarine pu ini ala lang lugud, gracia, o respoto para kaku pu. Aláng alang nakung gana karela.

Ing Dios akakit nang eganagana 🙏🏽

My Uncle Virgil

I had a long conversation with my Uncle Virgil yesterday (my dad's youngest brother.)

I appreciate him immensely because he is the only Dizon man, outside my father, who is aware of all the dysfunction and f*ckery in our family and does not fake the funk. Good freaking God cuz everyone else does.

Gavin, at 14 years old, is exhibiting broken consciousness as he is mirroring what he saw with certain family members when he and his sister were displaced, being dragged from one Dizon home, to another Dizon home and the person dragging them around had zero plans for emotional and physical stability.

The modus operandi of the person dragging them around in this manner was to buy their love and affection with expensive things and experiences sans providing a proper HOME for them. This went on for nearly two years. To top it off, the enablers never owned up to their participatory role in this dysfunction and that is the hallmark Dizon dysfunction. Just get drunk and forget about it. Damn tired of this crap, fakery, fuckery, materialistic, and highly addictive lifestyles. 

What I have learned to effectively do is see things as they are and to completely DETACH. In this situation, I pray, live as cleanly as possible, and let God teach my son how a real and responsible man handles himself. Because a real and responsible man would have had a proper plan to ensure emotional and physical stability, which unfortunately was not their experience. 

This is what happens when a man does not fully grow up. There is no sense of discipline, no accountability, no responsibility and only an insatiable hunger for more materialism and materialistic experiences even if they have NO F/ING HOME. Good freakin grief. MAKARINEH !!! 

What I am learning is to continue to live my truth and let people sleep in the beds they make for themselves. People will be who they choose to be and will have to look in the mirror and see if they are truly happy or not.

And THAT is none of my business. 

Health 🌄 + Lifestyle 🛍️ Stacking 📚

There’s been this idea that’s highly effective in adapting new healthy habits by building upon consistent habits you already do, like the simple act of walking 🚶🏻‍♀️

I personally do this both on vacation and at home because it is so enjoyable, healthy, free, and allows for a sense of well being and accomplishment.

Like today. One of my goals is to get to a certain mileage. Instead of singly focusing on this, I made a point to get the mileage in while taking a nature walk to the grocery store.

I used my RunKeeper app to track my mileage and kept it on while I was selecting groceries which slowed down my time but the goal was not speed.

The advantage to doing this is plenty. Let’s stack em and count em: 📝

1) You get fresh air and get to be part of the local vibe 🌬️

2) You’re forced to plan ahead and stick to your list so you don’t overspend ✏️

3) Your nature walk simultaneously serves as something that would have been a “chore” 🌲

4) That nature walk was productive and practical at the same time 👩🏻‍🔬

5) Walking to the store teaches you patience, humility, an appreciation for the simple things and safety awareness 💗

6) You can take in the views as you walk and appreciate what’s right in front of you🤗

7) You toggle emotionally between the aesthetic and the practical which gives both a grounded and uplifted feeling 🌟

8) “Stacking” mindset can be applied in many applications if you think creatively and craft a plan accordingly 💾

9) Your executive functioning prowess will increase ✅

10) No one will have to tap you on the back to congratulate you because the dopamine and serotonin your body will create naturally will do that for you 💟

I hope these are plenty enough reasons to get stacking 📚🙌💓👍

Freedom from ancestral dysfunction, anxiety, depression, and addiction

Becoming a free, healthy, and emotionally disentangled woman is something I have been striving for since I decided to end an unhealthy marriage in 2021.

The dysfunction was so deep that I attracted someone who was as dysfunctional as me at 16 years of age and latched on to that unhealthy relationship that festered and never grew up.

In this season of Lent, I am grateful for my sound mind, free spirit, and strong body despite negative forces that did not want me to be where I am today which is stronger, healthier, and happier than I have ever been in my whole life.

Jesus literally picked me up, rebuilt me from the ground up, shook away dysfunctional behavior, and mindsets and set me free. This freedom is the kind that is rare, hard-won, and pure.

When I look back at the woman I used to be I cannot recognize her. The deep ancestral dysfunction was never fully addressed and when I took ownership of all of it, wrestled with it, and took it down, true healing took place. I was finally able to pour into myself in ways that dysfunction, toxicity, and materialism could never fill. What transpired was a closer relationship to God, wholesome ways of being, and daily fulfillment, filled with gratitude for everything I have.

Breaking free from my own internal shackles and ancestral dysfunction is something I pray for my children. I pray they learn that anything of real value, money cannot buy. Robust health, true freedom, internal peace, pure joy, and personal excellence are states of being that must be chosen, daily. 

I am deeply grateful for my own successes in life and want my kids to know that a positive road map has already been built by their mother. To continue this positive trajectory, they must pray just as I did, seek God’s guidance just as I did, in order to receive discernment in all matters. God’s ways can be indecipherable to us so leaning on His understanding is what is required to truly be free, happy, and healthy in mind, body, and spirit. 

My daily prayer is for my children to experience this freedom of mind/body/spirit now, in their teenage/young adult years. I want their battles to be of a higher trajectory that allow for higher states of embodiment and personal fulfillment, in all the areas of life that are important to them. I want their spiritual grounding to be as strong as mine or stronger. I want them to attract healthy relationships and experiences of all kinds. I want them to know that boundary setting is their right and their way of asserting their power. I want them to know what true love looks and feels like in all areas of their life. I want them to be unbuyable and not succumb to purely worldly wins unshielded by God’s approval. I want them to be as successful and victorious as they are willing to work for. This I pray, everyday, for my children, in Jesus’ name Amen. 

 

In this season of Lent, I pray for freedom for all us. Freedom to receive and give love. Freedom from physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual ailments. Freedom from ancestral dysfunction, addiction, and maladaptive behaviors of all kind. May God bless us all and give us freedom, everyday. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Stuff we do at home 🏡

My kids don’t know 🤫 about this blog so I will post here lol 😂 (We’re a bunch of rockstars and are built a lil different 🎸) Enjoy🤗

Kitchen Karaoke 🎤

Legacy building

I want to create a living legacy that is built on the foundation of my life: inner peace and strength.

Firstly, what is a legacy? A legacy is what you pass down to your children. This can be in the form of material or monetary goods, but what I am striving to create here is more valuable than that which is a conscious cultivation of my own personal values and positive ways of being in the world. 

Secondly, I define cultivating inner peace as having a strong soul connection to God. It is from this direct connection that I draw from and graciously obtain “the peace that surpasses all understanding.” 

Moreover, I define my soul as the part of me that is infinite, unbounded, free, and the purest part of myself because of my connection to God.

When I connect to my soul, I connect to God, and from that abundant and blessed place, I can feed my physical self, emotional self, mental self, and spiritual self. 

And when all aspects of self are properly nourished, I can freely and whole heartedly give in the Earthly capacities I hold as: mother, daughter, business partner, co-worker, sibling, aunt, niece, friend, and fellow human.

My main goal is to cultivate rich and healthy relationships in these Earthly capacities as I have little interest in fickle and superficial connections unanchored by my personal core values.

Furthermore, I aim to serve within my Earthly capacities at the highest of my abilities by having a loving spirit, a strong body, and a sharp mind.

From there, I am free to go after my goals based on my heart’s desires and I always pray for the highest and best outcome for all.

This is my living legacy.

Mang was there for me

“Mang” was my paternal grandmother and was my world for a large part of my childhood in the Philippines 🇵🇭 and adult life in the United States 🇺🇸 

Childhood memories of Mang 🇵🇭

1. DOTING. Feeling special and really doted after. She always strove to make me feel comfortable and taken cared of.
2. MILLIE BOO. I don’t really know why she loved me because according to multiple sources I was not easy to love. I was called “Millie Boo” because I was frequently in a bad mood, “buysit” as a child and not friendly at all.
3. LOVED ME ANYWAY She didn’t care about all of my shortcomings and loved me anyway.
4. MALAMBING/TENDER/AFFECTIONATE. She was so attentive and malambing toward me I could not help but place her on a pedestal. 
5. HOW TO BE A CLASSY LADY. Another beautiful memory when I was around 8 was a class she signed me up for on how to be a proper lady. It was etiquette training in how to behave properly in social settings. We learned how to walk with books on our heads, how to navigate a formal dining experience, how to properly socialize in a party, and how to make delightful and polite conversations. She was a dignified lady and I want to pass down this positive legacy to my bloodline.

In the US memories🇺🇸 

1. TALENT SHOW/LOVE OF DANCING. Signed me and my sister up for a talent show. Taught us how to boogie. Got us coordinated outfits. Permed our hair and made us look like little Asian dolls dancing to music she grew up to. In the mood. 
2. KNEW HOW TO DO HAIR Permed our hair and it actually looked good.
3. I will forever associate the smell of Ogilvie perm solution with Mang.
4. As an adult, she was very delighted to have great grandchildren. I even had a dog she helped dog sit for me that she adored (Lattie). As a great grandmother, she loved Gigi’s articulate way of speaking and Gavin’s earnest straightforwardness. Plus she found my children well mannered and endearing. “Makayama la reng anak mu talaga.” ==> In American Colloquial California Youngspeak with the proper emotional context: ”Your children bring forth lots of love and light, like for real.”

What I miss the most about Mang is her sweetness, intelligence, and feistyness only true divas possess. I am forever grateful for all of the fond memories she made with me and pray that she continues to rest in eternal peace with our Heavenly Father, Jesus, and all the angels and saints, and family that have passed. Amen.